Control Freak

Merriam-Webster defines 'control freak' as follows:

control freak (noun) (date: 1971) - a person whose behavior indicates a powerful need to control people or circumstances in everyday matters.

Enough said...

The War is Good for Some

An article from The Economist (October 20th-26th, 2007), one of my favorite publications.

The War is Good for Some
Ugandans Join the Ranks of Private Security Firms in Iraq

While Americans and Iraqis argue over the merits and defects of private security companies in Iraq, for David Golola, a former private in the Ugandan army, Iraq's war means seed money for his mango-juice business. For he is one of 3,000-odd Ugandans who have been working in Iraq as security guards on American military bases, thanks to a contract with EOD Technology, a Tennessee-based firm that specialises in dealing with unexploded bombs and provides general security services to the Pentagon.

Like the other Ugandans who have been in Iraq, mostly former soldiers and policemen, Mr Golola considers himself lucky. Many have used their salaries of around $1,000 a month, about ten times that of a private in the Ugandan army, for starting businesses and buying property. One began a maize-grinding plant; another now has his own soap factory.

Not everyone, however, is keen to pack off thousands of Ugandans to guard American soldiers in a dangerous and distant desert. President Yoweri Museveni, the only leader among the 53 countries of the African Union to send peacekeepers to Somalia as well as Darfur, has been criticised by some Ugandans for putting his soldiers in harm's way to curry favour with the Americans in their proclaimed fight against global terror. To make matter worse, a scandal involving alleged underpayment and bad treatment of the security guards has dogged several of the Ugandan firms (one of them close to the president) that have been chosen by the government to recruit the men.

All the same, thousands of eager Ugandan men have put themselves on the waiting list to join the firms. "Even though it's a war zone," explains a guard back home on leave, with plans to start a dairy, "Iraq is a better option than Uganda." None, so far, has been killed.

For the record, I've seen Ugandan women here as well as men. And on another note, they scare the crap out of me. They're perfect for the job!

A Good Day to be an American

I read an interesting article on MSNBC today. It reminded me how good it truly is to be an American.

Sudan Arrests Teacher Over 'Mohammed' Bear
Briton Allows Her Class of 7-Year-Olds to Choose Teddy Bear's Name

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21973378/?GT1=10547

So a teacher, Gillian Gibbons, who works at Unity School in Khartoum, Sudan, was arrested and "accused of insulting Islam's Prophet by letting her class of 7-year-olds name a teddy bear Muhammed..." She's been "charged with 'blasphemy', an offense... punishable with up to three months in prison and a fine." Apparently, she's being charged "under article 125 of the criminal law, which covers insults against faith and religion."

The course plan for the second graders was to learn about the habitat of the bear. A teddy bear was brought into class by one of the students as part of the project. "The bear itself was not marked or labeled with the name in any way." The students in Gibbons' class voted on the name for the teddy bear. (Voting - how strangely democratic.)

While reading this article, I recalled that my ex husband's uncle once had a dog - a black lab - that he named Nigger. Whether or not the man is racist is irrelevant, I suppose. The dog was black and so he felt the name was appropriate. He certainly wasn't arrested for offending anyone (and I'm sure he offended many).

Yep, it's definitely a good day to be an American...

Get Me to Baghdad Quick!

Dubai International Airport. Terminal 2. I'm waiting with 100+ co-workers for the chartered aircraft that will take us into Baghdad. After a very weak screening checkpoint, the ticket counter, passport control, and yet another weak screening checkpoint, we are dispersed throughout the waiting area. Like many airports, there is a separate holding area that will open shortly before boarding time. I am sitting on the end of a bank of chairs. There is an aisle that separates me from a co-worker sitting on the end of the next bank of chairs. He is reading. I am listening to my iPod. Our attention is soon drawn to an Indian (or perhaps Sri Lankan) man who approaches the counter in front of our holding area. He has a boarding pass and small rolling suitcase in tow. Observing the airport staff members' hand gestures, it is evident they are telling the man no, that he missed the flight, and that he will have to take it up with someone else. He becomes furious. He is moving closer and closer to the counter, at one point standing practically behind the counter, so close to the employees that they become uncomfortable and again, more forcefully, they tell him to leave. He sets his suitcase down, steps back, pulls out his cell phone, and begins a very heated exchange over the phone. One of the airport staff members motions for the man to move his suitcase away from the counter. The man picks it up and moves it about 5 feet, then continues pacing during his phone conversation. The man sitting across the aisle from me glances over with one of those 'good grief' looks and we continue observing the angry man. He again approaches the counter, waving his ticket wildly about and throwing his hands up in the air. They finally convince the man that he is not boarding the aircraft and he'll have to speak to someone else. He picks up his suitcase, looks around the waiting area, and decides to set it down in the aisle between myself and my co-worker. And then he walks away! We watch him walk down the hall on his cell phone. He eventually disappears. We both glance down at the suitcase and at each other. "Are you as nervous as I am right now?" I ask. "I'm getting there," my co-worker responds. Approximately 5 minutes pass, and there's no sign of the man. My co-worker approaches the counter and tells them the man they were speaking to earlier left his suitcase unattended. Walking back, shrugging, he says, "They say he's coming right back for it." Hmmm... Another 15 minutes pass. Still no sign of the man. Now my co-worker and I are very nervous. I decide to approach the counter. I tell the uninterested man, "There was a gentleman here earlier who was very upset about missing his flight. He left his suitcase over here and walked away and we haven't seen him for some time now. Could you please track him down or have the bag removed?" He wiggles his head and says, "Madam, it is fine. He will come back." I said, "Sir, I can appreciate that you're busy with other things, but I'm very uncomfortable with this unattended suitcase near me. It is a major security issue and, all things considered, I would think you'd be at least slightly concerned. Should I track down security, or will you call them?" He rolls his eyes and picks up the phone. I assume he's calling security, thank him, and walk back to my seat. Still no sign of the man. No more than 2 minutes later, my group is called to enter the holding area. As I walk down the hall, I notice that the man is still missing and there's no sign of security either. At this point, my co-worker and I are absolutely stunned at the crass, careless behavior of the airport staff and the apparent lack of security elements. Once inside the holding area, we both rush to the boarding door and check our watches and tickets to see how much time is left. "Come on, come on," he mumbles. "Yeah," I say, understanding exactly what he means. "Just get me to Baghdad quick!"

Government Fraud, Waste, and Abuse

Imagine, if you will... You muddle through 3 security checkpoints at Dubai International Airport before finally reaching the aircraft. You're clean, along with all your fellow passengers. You embark upon a 15+ hour journey. You arrive in Atlanta. Before reaching the terminal, you must first clear passport control and customs. There are signs everywhere that indicate you are in a controlled area and cell phone use is prohibited. You retrieve your luggage from the carousel and transport it to another because you have a connecting flight. Passengers who have reached their final destination are ushered through a separate exit. You are still in a controlled area. There is no Cinnabon. No Starbucks. No Duty Free shopping. You have delivered your luggage and are ready to head to the gate to catch your next flight. Oh, but wait - what's this? A security checkpoint? You mean you have to remove your shoes again? Your coat? Remove your laptop from the carrying case? Show that your lipgloss and travel hand lotion are secured inside a zip-loc bag? How is it remotely possible that anything has changed since the last security checkpoint in Dubai? You have been in a secure area the whole time! Did you pick up items that resemble weapons during your secure 15+ hour flight? Or between the luggage carousel and the connecting luggage drop point? Did you buy a pack of cigarettes and a few lighters between passport control and the luggage carousel? No, of course not! You haven't even turned on your cell phone to call family because the sign says you're in a controlled area! How does any of this make sense? I have thought and thought and thought about this. And no, it doesn't make any sense. So here's my summary explanation in five words: Government Fraud, Waste, and Abuse. Yes, please, Uncle Sam, use more of my tax dollars to hire more TSA agents so that I can watch them drink coffee and chit-chat while I stand in line for 25 minutes for absolutely no good reason. I'm in the wrong line of work...

Pass the Double Stuf Oreos!

I have discovered that my internal means of dealing with feelings of insecurity are not internal at all. On the contrary, I seek out external satisfaction, most notably in the form of shopping. I bought diamond earrings yesterday - nothing fancy, just little studs. I also bought a designer handbag and matching wallet. I bought makeup today. Will I feel more beautiful? I feel semi-attractive after having my hair and nails done this morning. The hair, I surely cannot replicate tomorrow morning, fresh out of the shower. But it works for my ego today. The earrings? So small, no one will notice but me when I put them on each day. The handbag? Practical. (Right?) The makeup? Merely a facade to shade the sadness and insecurity that reigns beneath. Now someone pass the Double Stuf Oreos, please.

I'll Have What He's Smoking, Please

I was scanning through the news online this morning and happened upon an interesting article... 'S. African Bishop: Condoms Tainted With AIDS'.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20999747/

The article begins: "The head of the Catholic church in Mozambique said on Wednesday he believed some European-made condoms were deliberately tainted with the HIV/AIDS virus to kill African people. 'I know of two countries in Europe who are making condoms with (the) virus on purpose, they want to finish with African people as part of their program to colonize the continent,' Archbishop Francisco Chimoio told Reuters."

Is he delusional? A conspiracy theorist? Suffering from a brain injury? Or is he just smoking something that completely eliminates his ability to think rationally? I'll have what he's smoking, please...